I checked if the AI even knows I exist.
There's a site for it now. In the Weights. You type a name, it asks the big models, no web search, "who is this?" Then it scores how well they know you. Out of 996.
A vanity search for the machines. Obviously I typed myself in.
Nothing.
GPT. Claude. Gemini. Grok. Not one had a clue.
Even Claude. The one I talk to every single day. Blank.
For scale: number one right now is Macaulay Culkin. 988. The kid from Home Alone outranks almost everyone alive, as far as the machine's concerned.
Then the site twists the knife. "Being in the weights means your existence was deemed important in the process of creating superhuman AI."
Mine wasn't. Cool. Noted.
Speaking of fake.
You know the videos. Some guy turns twenty bucks into a fortune online. Confetti. "Easiest money of my life."
All staged. The Wall Street Journal caught Polymarket paying creators to film fake wins on fake versions of the app.
Over a thousand videos. In a hundred-plus, people "won" almost $900,000 on camera.
Make those same bets for real? Down $166,000.
The wins were props. The whole thing was an ad.
So. I'm not in the weights. And I'm not slick enough to fake a leaderboard.
But you found me anyway. No search. No score. No confetti.
You just knew.
You're the only one who's got me in the weights.
See you tomorrow.
-Melly