My coffee maker died this morning.
Just died. No warning. Five years together and not even a note.
I did the only thing I know how to do. I unplugged it and plugged it back in.
Nothing.
I did it again, slower, so it could sense how serious I was.
Nothing.
So I grabbed my phone to look up how to fix it, which was the mistake, because I have never once opened my phone and made it back out alive.
The Pope was in there.
The actual Pope! He wrote a big letter. A whole official one, with a Latin name I will not be attempting out loud.
Basically: AI is the new Industrial Revolution, it's getting a little too powerful, and somebody needs to disarm it before it goes full Skynet and takes everyone's jobs and starts the wars. Be kind. Protect the humans. Love, the Pope.
Look, if the Pope's nervous about the robots, I feel a lot better about being nervous about the robots.
But then I saw who he wrote it standing next to. He's up at the Vatican, robes and the little hat, next to some guy from Anthropic. The AI company. The two of them. Together. Just hanging out.
I had so many questions and still no coffee.
That same AI company is now worth more than several actual countries, which is funny, because I emailed them once and nobody wrote back.
Then Elon. There's always an Elon. SpaceX is going public, sure, fine, except buried in the paperwork is this little thing where they pay Anthropic $1.25 BILLION.
A month.
My coffee maker cost forty bucks and the recycling place still wants me to feel bad about it.
...where was I.
Right. Coffee. Still don't have any.
Oh! And Google built a tiny AI that'll run your whole life for a hundred a month. They put it in glasses too. So it can live on your face now.
Can it make coffee?
No?
Then it can't live on mine.
I walked to the gas station. Two dollars. Tasted like a nickel. That machine is older than I am.
So that's the news. I think. I got a little lost in there.
The robots are rich. The Pope is nervous. Elon's turning into a trillionaire and I'm turning into a person who drinks gas station coffee.
But you showed up.
Out of everybody in today's newsletter, the popes and the billionaires and the rockets, you're the only one I actually like.
-Melly